Happy Birthday Little B!

It's crazy to believe what we were going through this time a year ago. Buying a new house, bed rest in Billings for three weeks, and WaLah--a 2 lb. 15 ounce little munchkin. He is truly a fighter, he was fighting for life back then and he is still a fiery little carpet crawler now. Believe me. Everything that I did to torture my parents is now coming back to haunt me. 

The doctors told us after Brecken was born that if this had happened thirty years earlier we would have both died and I am so thankful for the technology that we have today that kept us both alive.

I am also so thankful that Brecken has had the ability to grow and become such a strong little man. I love pulling out his first diapers to compare them to his diapers now. It just seems so unreal that a human being could fit into something so small.

There is only one regret I have..I wish we would have been able to get an ink stamp of his hand and foot the day he was born, but I understand he was too fragile for anyone to touch. So instead I look at this picture to remember how small his little feet were. Even back then his little feet looked so tender and perfect.

Now, a year later I still feel as though I am being blessed everyday. I love how Brecken makes me laugh and how my personality he possesses. John says he acts like me--it is kind of cute now, but I am imaging him to be a terror when he gets older. I love his squishy face that he makes when he is frustrated, I love his contagious laugh, and I love his excitement when he sees John or me walk into a room.


I DON'T love, however, that everytime I punish him he laughs at me. No joke. I spank him and he laughs. I say, "NO" and he laughs. It scares me how mischevious he already is...

I love that for Halloween he let us dress him up as a monkey, then a chicken, then a monkey again and he never cried or complained....well, I guess he kind of cried (but I blame that on the ear infection).

Everyday I try to thank my Heavenly Father for my precious boy and the miracle that he is in my life and after everything we have been through over this past year I am so thankful that I get to tell my little man Happy Birthday today.

Happy Birthday Brecken we love you!

I don't even know how to explain this...

So I am trying to find words for the experience I had this morning. I still can't even begin to describe what went through my head at the exact moment it happened..it was weird, because I do remember panic, embarressment and complete madness all occuring at one time.

Now, some of you will understand what I am going through, others may want to block me as a friend on facebook, and some of you will laugh hystarically.

Before I get "ahead"(no pun intended.you will understand in less then 30 seconds what this means) I need to explain what happened last night.

So, last night B and I attended the annual pumpkin carving party at the Barnwell abode. It is always so delightful and fun. John, however, didn't show up. Yes, he was hunting, and yes he finally killed an elk. Whatever, I am fine with that. So when he got home late last night he decided in his infamous wisdom that he would quarter the elk in our garage. Whatever, I am still fine with that. Then, came the realization that he needed to do something with the elk once he was finished. His plan: put it in the garbage can. I am not fine with this.

Hello! for those of you that have never been up close and personal to good ole' Wapati...well let me tell ya, they are big....our garbage on the other hand is NOT that big. John kept barkin' at me because I wasn't being that helpful so I huffed into the house and said as I slammed the door, "Fine you try to put a square peg in a round hole."

Ten minutes later. Tap, tap, tap on the front door. I opened. John replied, "I put it in the garbage can" (emphasis on snotty tone that came from his mouth). I believed him and then finally was able to go to bed at 2:30 in the AM.

NO. No. the story is not over. So, I left the house kind of late today and when I opened the garage door and walked outside this is what I saw.

BAHHHHHH! I almost died. I remember repeating something in a very loud voice that I am sure the neighbors heard. Obviously, John and I have to completely different perspectives on what it means to put the elk in the garbage can.

I called him right away, trying to remain calm and said, "There will be no negotiation. The elk that has taken up residency in our FRONT yard has to go." Further, I tried to explain that there was more than a handful of reasons on why this was soo wrong. First, our garbage pickup doesn't happen until Tuesday and that head will not be sticking out for 5 days. Secondly, Halloween in on Sunday and everyone and their dog will be coming up our driveway. Third, this is not what I had in mind for scaring the trick-or-treaters. The list could go on and on about the reasons on why this is not o.k.

note: John I love you, but the elk has to go. sorry.

For everyone else, please don't judge ;)

This is why I love this kid...

Yesterday, as I was getting Brecken undressed to give him a bath he decided to poop, while in my arms. Gross. Really gross. If it would have been any other kid I probably would have thrown up right there, but I didn't. I just looked at him and he smiled at me with this look that said, "That's right, I pooped and there is nothin' you can do 'bout it."

This video is why I don't give him away at times like that....

Organized? Yeah Right.

So, someone told me the other day that they couldn't believe how organized I was...Yeah. Well. Um. They haven't been to my house. Obviously.



Oh, and yes that is Brecken laying on the floor at two in the afternoon with no clothes on.

Funny story about no clothes. The other day Brecken peed thought another outfit. I am guessing it is time to go up a size in the diaper area. Anyway, so he peed through an outfit and I wasn't home. So I thought, "hey I have to stop at Target anyway so I will just run in and buy a new outfit." First off, I didn't think other mothers judged other mothers.

O.K. so maybe I did walk into Target towing my baby around in a diaper. But did it require them to stare at us, yes, it was a little cold, but did they want him to stay in the wet onesie instead?

So, after the gaukers kept on staring, I decided I would just put the new outfit on him in the store. Second problem. NOW, a new set of mothers were not only staring at my naked baby, but they watched me rip the tags off the clothes as I put them on my baby who was sitting in a shopping cart in the store. Really, did they think I was going to just now walk out of the store?

And finally, because I was so over being stared at I just walked up to the register, handed the tags to the cashier, who by all accounts was no more than 17, who said, "Where's the outfit?" ....sooooo, I now had to explain my story to another person, again.

By the time we got to the car...he needed a diaper change.

So, back to the point. No, I am not organized. Yes, I use to be before Brecken. No, my house is not always clean. I often don't shower everyday because I would rather sleep then get wet, which then requires another hour to get ready. The answer is to my "fake organization"....I am good at perception. As I assume most mothers are.

And by the way. My punk is chewing on our coffee table right now. This is what he looks like if you want a mental image.

{Family Pics}

A few weeks ago I decided it was time to take a family photo. I had to plead and even bribe John to do it, but I have the evidence that he cooperated. I also decided Brecken "needed" one-year photos as well. Yes, I know he is only 11 months, but in Montana you never know when it will snow. And, in my defense if this year is like last year we will have 80 degree weather one day and 20 the next. Yeah, I am not a fan.

Kelty ended up taking our pictures and she did such an amazing job. Brecken was cooperative for the most part. If he wouldn't have been in the hospital for so long, which meant a million shots, I would have updated him on his Tetnus. He licked and chewed on every vehicle at the car lot where the pictures were taken.

I thought getting John to take the pictures would be the most stressful part of the process, HOWEVER. Now let me emphasize the however...my pants became the issue. Now, a dirty little secret that people didn't tell me was once I stopped breast feeding all my weight would come back. Fast. I mean like 12 days fast. So, the beautiful pants that I bought while I was breast feeding needed a little help to fit on to my body. It included Spanx, laying on the floor sucking in my gut, sweat, and a brief glimpse of Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love.

Why is he so happy and why am I so miserable?

Really, I should have known this day would come. I always thought all my possessions would be fine, but they're not. I underestimated the skill and power of the 15 pounds that enable his body to move. Yes, it happened and I have had to watch the horror unfold.

In the last two weeks I have watched Brecken begin to kind of crawl, then crawl, then stand up, then get in the drawers in my bathroom, then tear every one of my magazines to shreds. Oh yes, did I mention he attempted to eat the magazines before he ended their lives. Yes my Real Simple magazine, of which I have waited patiently all month to read became a chew toy before I even cracked it open. My beautifully designed house, while not baby proof, has become a treasure chest of chew toys for little b. The books are missing covers, the pretty flower arrangements have miraculously begun to re-appear in his diapers, and the tv antennae...well it didn't survive.

And why is he so happy? Well, he has come to find out that cords are his best friends, curling irons can easily be ripped off the counter, tv's can be unplugged, and the vaccuum cleaner cord is great to get tangled in. He knows that he is now in control. That's right. My 3-toothed monster has found the new joy in crawling, grabbing, pulling, and screaming.



Along with "firsts"...he experienced his first Bobcat Football game. The chaos that occurs at the game is right up is alley. It is chaotic, loud, busy, messy and has a distinct smell. Oh right, I am talking about my house ;)


Did I mention that he now yells some form of "MAMA"....when he wants something. It is the beginning of the end folks.

It's Official!

On Friday morning Brecken woke up with a 102 fever. I had this internal battle with myself all day while trying to debate if I should or shouldn't take him to the doctor. I knew something was wrong with him when he laid around the house all day and didn't even make a peep. He is usually pretty vocal. He yells at me, the tv, the neighborhood cat, his food, just about anything that comes through his path gets yelled at. BUT he did nothing on Friday.

And even more alarming was the fact that he cuddled with me all day. Am I a bad mom because I was a tiny bit happy that my baby was sick because he finally cuddled with me?

Well, it didn't last long. When we got to the doctor's office Brecken became entranced with the butcher paper on the table and forgot all about me.



When the doctor came in, her name is Dr. Pepper. BAHAHAHAHAHA! She looked in his ears and said that he had an ear infection.

...that was my reaction as well.

So she gave him antibiotics, dosed him with motrin, and sent him home.

later that night he was back to his "tent" routine.

...and now I have the ear infection ;)