I don't even know how to explain this...

So I am trying to find words for the experience I had this morning. I still can't even begin to describe what went through my head at the exact moment it happened..it was weird, because I do remember panic, embarressment and complete madness all occuring at one time.

Now, some of you will understand what I am going through, others may want to block me as a friend on facebook, and some of you will laugh hystarically.

Before I get "ahead"(no pun intended.you will understand in less then 30 seconds what this means) I need to explain what happened last night.

So, last night B and I attended the annual pumpkin carving party at the Barnwell abode. It is always so delightful and fun. John, however, didn't show up. Yes, he was hunting, and yes he finally killed an elk. Whatever, I am fine with that. So when he got home late last night he decided in his infamous wisdom that he would quarter the elk in our garage. Whatever, I am still fine with that. Then, came the realization that he needed to do something with the elk once he was finished. His plan: put it in the garbage can. I am not fine with this.

Hello! for those of you that have never been up close and personal to good ole' Wapati...well let me tell ya, they are big....our garbage on the other hand is NOT that big. John kept barkin' at me because I wasn't being that helpful so I huffed into the house and said as I slammed the door, "Fine you try to put a square peg in a round hole."

Ten minutes later. Tap, tap, tap on the front door. I opened. John replied, "I put it in the garbage can" (emphasis on snotty tone that came from his mouth). I believed him and then finally was able to go to bed at 2:30 in the AM.

NO. No. the story is not over. So, I left the house kind of late today and when I opened the garage door and walked outside this is what I saw.

BAHHHHHH! I almost died. I remember repeating something in a very loud voice that I am sure the neighbors heard. Obviously, John and I have to completely different perspectives on what it means to put the elk in the garbage can.

I called him right away, trying to remain calm and said, "There will be no negotiation. The elk that has taken up residency in our FRONT yard has to go." Further, I tried to explain that there was more than a handful of reasons on why this was soo wrong. First, our garbage pickup doesn't happen until Tuesday and that head will not be sticking out for 5 days. Secondly, Halloween in on Sunday and everyone and their dog will be coming up our driveway. Third, this is not what I had in mind for scaring the trick-or-treaters. The list could go on and on about the reasons on why this is not o.k.

note: John I love you, but the elk has to go. sorry.

For everyone else, please don't judge ;)

This is why I love this kid...

Yesterday, as I was getting Brecken undressed to give him a bath he decided to poop, while in my arms. Gross. Really gross. If it would have been any other kid I probably would have thrown up right there, but I didn't. I just looked at him and he smiled at me with this look that said, "That's right, I pooped and there is nothin' you can do 'bout it."

This video is why I don't give him away at times like that....

Organized? Yeah Right.

So, someone told me the other day that they couldn't believe how organized I was...Yeah. Well. Um. They haven't been to my house. Obviously.



Oh, and yes that is Brecken laying on the floor at two in the afternoon with no clothes on.

Funny story about no clothes. The other day Brecken peed thought another outfit. I am guessing it is time to go up a size in the diaper area. Anyway, so he peed through an outfit and I wasn't home. So I thought, "hey I have to stop at Target anyway so I will just run in and buy a new outfit." First off, I didn't think other mothers judged other mothers.

O.K. so maybe I did walk into Target towing my baby around in a diaper. But did it require them to stare at us, yes, it was a little cold, but did they want him to stay in the wet onesie instead?

So, after the gaukers kept on staring, I decided I would just put the new outfit on him in the store. Second problem. NOW, a new set of mothers were not only staring at my naked baby, but they watched me rip the tags off the clothes as I put them on my baby who was sitting in a shopping cart in the store. Really, did they think I was going to just now walk out of the store?

And finally, because I was so over being stared at I just walked up to the register, handed the tags to the cashier, who by all accounts was no more than 17, who said, "Where's the outfit?" ....sooooo, I now had to explain my story to another person, again.

By the time we got to the car...he needed a diaper change.

So, back to the point. No, I am not organized. Yes, I use to be before Brecken. No, my house is not always clean. I often don't shower everyday because I would rather sleep then get wet, which then requires another hour to get ready. The answer is to my "fake organization"....I am good at perception. As I assume most mothers are.

And by the way. My punk is chewing on our coffee table right now. This is what he looks like if you want a mental image.

{Family Pics}

A few weeks ago I decided it was time to take a family photo. I had to plead and even bribe John to do it, but I have the evidence that he cooperated. I also decided Brecken "needed" one-year photos as well. Yes, I know he is only 11 months, but in Montana you never know when it will snow. And, in my defense if this year is like last year we will have 80 degree weather one day and 20 the next. Yeah, I am not a fan.

Kelty ended up taking our pictures and she did such an amazing job. Brecken was cooperative for the most part. If he wouldn't have been in the hospital for so long, which meant a million shots, I would have updated him on his Tetnus. He licked and chewed on every vehicle at the car lot where the pictures were taken.

I thought getting John to take the pictures would be the most stressful part of the process, HOWEVER. Now let me emphasize the however...my pants became the issue. Now, a dirty little secret that people didn't tell me was once I stopped breast feeding all my weight would come back. Fast. I mean like 12 days fast. So, the beautiful pants that I bought while I was breast feeding needed a little help to fit on to my body. It included Spanx, laying on the floor sucking in my gut, sweat, and a brief glimpse of Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love.