So I am trying to find words for the experience I had this morning. I still can't even begin to describe what went through my head at the exact moment it happened..it was weird, because I do remember panic, embarressment and complete madness all occuring at one time.
Now, some of you will understand what I am going through, others may want to block me as a friend on facebook, and some of you will laugh hystarically.
Before I get "ahead"(no pun intended.you will understand in less then 30 seconds what this means) I need to explain what happened last night.
So, last night B and I attended the annual pumpkin carving party at the Barnwell abode. It is always so delightful and fun. John, however, didn't show up. Yes, he was hunting, and yes he finally killed an elk. Whatever, I am fine with that. So when he got home late last night he decided in his infamous wisdom that he would quarter the elk in our garage. Whatever, I am still fine with that. Then, came the realization that he needed to do something with the elk once he was finished. His plan: put it in the garbage can. I am not fine with this.
Hello! for those of you that have never been up close and personal to good ole' Wapati...well let me tell ya, they are big....our garbage on the other hand is NOT that big. John kept barkin' at me because I wasn't being that helpful so I huffed into the house and said as I slammed the door, "Fine you try to put a square peg in a round hole."
Ten minutes later. Tap, tap, tap on the front door. I opened. John replied, "I put it in the garbage can" (emphasis on snotty tone that came from his mouth). I believed him and then finally was able to go to bed at 2:30 in the AM.
NO. No. the story is not over. So, I left the house kind of late today and when I opened the garage door and walked outside this is what I saw.
BAHHHHHH! I almost died. I remember repeating something in a very loud voice that I am sure the neighbors heard. Obviously, John and I have to completely different perspectives on what it means to put the elk in the garbage can.
I called him right away, trying to remain calm and said, "There will be no negotiation. The elk that has taken up residency in our FRONT yard has to go." Further, I tried to explain that there was more than a handful of reasons on why this was soo wrong. First, our garbage pickup doesn't happen until Tuesday and that head will not be sticking out for 5 days. Secondly, Halloween in on Sunday and everyone and their dog will be coming up our driveway. Third, this is not what I had in mind for scaring the trick-or-treaters. The list could go on and on about the reasons on why this is not o.k.
note: John I love you, but the elk has to go. sorry.
For everyone else, please don't judge ;)