{Intentions} or, the lack of :)

O.K. you know the saying, "the road to H-E-double hockey sticks is paved with good intentions?" Yes, we all know the saying. John believes this is the mantra for my life. I yell at him and tell him that I always finish everything. He points at that there are a variety of crafts sitting in the basement that are half finished, a box full of jewelry making junk that has never been used, and a wide variety of moldy food in the fridge that was suppose to be used for my newest dinner idea. I, roll my eyes and point at that while I have intented to do a lot of things. I have however, managed to 1. keep my baby breathing 2. shower on a semi-regular basis and 3. eat, so I don't starve. Though, my examples my be rather shallow (minus keeping Brecken alive) I prove to him that while some of my good intentions do not necessarily follow through it is not my fault. Why? Well, because I deal with this on a daily basis: Yes, the many split personalities of Brecken is what keeps me from following through with all those things I intended to do. For example, I intended to clean the house, but he just kept sticking out his lower lip at me soooo I had to sit there and laugh at him. Those, toes. Well, let me tell you. He is starting to find them. And since that point, I have intended to do the laundry, dishes, and again eradicate the smell coming from my sink, but that stuff has all been pushed off so I can watch him grab at those little nubbers. His smile. Well, heck. I might as well have not even intended to shower (which I haven't yet) because when he smiles it is often followed with a laugh that makes his whole body shake. His laugh, is sooo cute that often I will force it out of him by pushing his cheeks together saying "Chubby Bunny" which makes him laugh and laugh to the point that tears start to form at the corner of his eyes. And, then the laughing stops immediately. Why? Well, do I need to explain this look?

Don't worry. He always manages to bring out that smile after a few moments of crying and the result is this: (p.s. Grams...this is for you!!!)

139 days later

I have wondered for a long time what this day would be like. The day when Brecken would not have cords coming in-and-out of his body. The day when we would be able to hold our baby in the comfort of our home. The day when we would not have oxygen tanks scattered around our house. The day when people would not stare out us in the store. The day when my baby could lay peacefully on our bed, dressed in tiny jeans and an old navy tee-shirt, without cords, wires, oxygen and monitors, softly laughing at himself while he slept with his binky hanging out of the side of his mouth. It is odd to think that that day is finally here.

We have somehow managed to go from our tiny little 2 pound 15 ounce baby, who could not breathe on his own.


To this, our 9 pound baby who's lungs seem to work perfectly fine. Side note: he is no longer sleeping peacefully, but has resorted to screaming to get my attention ;)


On Monday, our pediatrician did Brecken's final check-up on his oxygen saturation. Not only is his oxygen finally normal, but we were able to get rid of the stock pile of oxygen tanks scattered throughout our house.


I would have never imagined that walking into the doctor's office 139 days ago would have led to this crazy ride. I am fairly certain that I have led a rather normal life. No real problems or stresses. No huge trials that have drastically defined my life. Even this trial seemed to eventually become reality, and it forced John and I to except the inevitable and realize that all the crying in the world couldn't change the situation we were in. So we were forced to come to terms with the fact that this was life. We never once blamed God, or thought, "why is this happening to us"? As I think back on this experience I have come to understand that trials are just a part of life, and sometimes the greatest blessings come from the trials that we endure. Right now John and Brecken are laying on the bed next to me and I realize that the greatest blessings I have in my life are cuddled right up next to me :)
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On a side note, and a bit off topic...because that is how I roll... I bought some neat decorative St. Patty's paper plates and I decided to warm up some spaghetti in the microwave. After 30 seconds I turned around to see a fire brewing in my microwave. Turns out that the "neatness" on the plates was foil.

This was the outcome of my ordeal:


Take home message to be gained: Not all paper plates are created equal.

Happy Birthday Chicka!

So Brecken hasn't met her yet, but his Aunt Kelty is going to teach him many fun things and will fill his mind with many useless facts. As the third sister she has developed a rather unique personality, and it is only fitting that on her 21st birthday that I should share a few fun an interesting facts about my quasi-Napoleon Dynamite sister. Now, in her defense she can't defend herself because sadly she is studying abroad in the land of clovers and leprechans.

What you need to know about Kelty:
1. She loves Converse shoes
2. Her favorite movie is Empire Records
3. She once dressed up in a bunny outfit and stood on the corner of 11th and College with a sign that said "Honk if you love carrots"....by herself.
4. Her car will never stay in park (beware)
5. The music that she listens to is often emo-ish and usually involves a band of which I have never heard of...
6. She should have been a teenager in the 80's, not only is her closet full of neon jewlery, ugly tights, and a set of radio cassette earrings, but I think she secretly believes that "Let's get Physical" is the mantra of her life...sad, but true.
7. Even though she is gone for 6 months her bedroom is still a disaster.
8. Kelty and Kambrie (sister 2) both have an obnoxiously weird sense of humor and are both in love with Scrubs.
9. She is reliable....very reliable, she moved us into our house.
10. She is named after Jim Kelts--a saddle bronc rider
11. She has a dog, Squirt, a boarder collie/pomeranian mix who believes he is a cat. She also HAD Arial, a house-trained rabbit, Arial did not believe she was a cat, but she did like to eat the furniture.
12. Kelty doesn't eat apples
13. she often quotes Calvin and Hobbes
14. She loves ayn rand
15. Ridge (brother of sis 1,2 and 3) Kelty are best friends
16. Kelty and my Dad share a deep passion for ebay shopping
17. Kelty was the Choteau Bulldog mascot in high school, she could do the worm in her costume...classy
18. Kelty loves to sew and make sock monkeys...my Mom also loves to sew, I don't think she makes sock monkeys though
19. Kelty knows the entire dance to Thriller
20. She loves useless websites, case-in-point: Cleverbot
21. Her eldest sis loves her quacky personality and thinks she rocks!!!