Christmas with the Bishops and a lot of crap...literally.

When I look at our Christmas card from last year I laugh. a. lot. Okay, maybe I shouldn't be laughing, but I mean seriously, Brecken looks like a doll. Look at his arms, he looks like an outstretched, oxygen lovin' baby.

 I am, however, so thankful for this year's picture. Even though Little B looks like a premature Casanova with his puckered lips I know that I would never give up his silly face or personality for anything.

 Our Christmas season was so wonderful this year. We were able to find the perfect tree within 30 minutes, Brecken got to see Santa....twice, and John has been able to slaughter lots and lots of fish!

So from our house to yours we hope you had an awesome Christmas!

FYI...I will have Christmas pics up as soon as I steal Kelty's camera to retrieve all the pictures!

Until then...enjoy our lovely faces hahahahahahahaha

Fact: My baby is a human vaccuum cleaner.

Little B has turned into a mad man...or baby. whatever. Anyway, now that he is mobile he is going crazy. He gets into everything, he attempts to climb everything, and he BANGS everything. Yeah, just about everything we own has his grubby lil' fingers prints on it now.

 His newest fettish is eating everything off the floor. I don't even know how he finds some of the the things that he puts in his mouth. I feel as though I am gagging him twenty times a day. Yesterday for instance, he managed to rip off both of his OWN socks and shoved BOTH of them in his mouth...at the same time. He also found cat food, styrofoam pieces, a rock, a pen cap, and a bobby pin. I am not lying.

 However, even with the new desire for unedible objects he is not nearly has fussy anymore. After his birthday we took him into the hospital on the 10th to get tubes put in his ears.

Hallejulah! I heard angels singing that day.

 It took awhile for him to finally sleep through the night, but his is doing it now. He has always been a happy baby, but now he is a happy/mountain dew crazed/candy fed baby.

 My second round of giddiness happened when John finally got his buck. No more hunting season meant ...prepping for fishing season.

Correction: He has already begun the ice fishing season.

While John and the boys reduced the fish populated at Highlight, Brecken got to play with his cousins he was a bit dramatic at times. Note: I have become this crazy camera lady when it comes to taking pictures...I figured I would take a break over Thanksgiving and not torture the family.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was great the food and company were awesome, ghe shopping was not as great...I will say it again: I hate waffle irons. here's the story 'bout that adventure.

Other news: Our dear friend Colleen had her lil' babe Maddie over the Thanksgiving week. Brecken still is not quite sure what she is....he is a bit skeptical about this whole baby business.

 I also learned a valuable lesson over Thanksgiving: A spoon in the bottom of a bowl will end the life of a beater. 'nuf said.

 And the best part about November: Little B STANDING on his own!

YEAH!!!!! Okay to be honest this was not the very first time, but it was the first time I actually got a picture.

FYI.

If you are really bored interested check out my sister's blog. She is doing 25 days of ugly sweaters. That's right folks she is going to wear an ugly sweater from now until Christmas. Yeah, she is just that classy.

Happy Birthday Little B!

It's crazy to believe what we were going through this time a year ago. Buying a new house, bed rest in Billings for three weeks, and WaLah--a 2 lb. 15 ounce little munchkin. He is truly a fighter, he was fighting for life back then and he is still a fiery little carpet crawler now. Believe me. Everything that I did to torture my parents is now coming back to haunt me. 

The doctors told us after Brecken was born that if this had happened thirty years earlier we would have both died and I am so thankful for the technology that we have today that kept us both alive.

I am also so thankful that Brecken has had the ability to grow and become such a strong little man. I love pulling out his first diapers to compare them to his diapers now. It just seems so unreal that a human being could fit into something so small.

There is only one regret I have..I wish we would have been able to get an ink stamp of his hand and foot the day he was born, but I understand he was too fragile for anyone to touch. So instead I look at this picture to remember how small his little feet were. Even back then his little feet looked so tender and perfect.

Now, a year later I still feel as though I am being blessed everyday. I love how Brecken makes me laugh and how my personality he possesses. John says he acts like me--it is kind of cute now, but I am imaging him to be a terror when he gets older. I love his squishy face that he makes when he is frustrated, I love his contagious laugh, and I love his excitement when he sees John or me walk into a room.


I DON'T love, however, that everytime I punish him he laughs at me. No joke. I spank him and he laughs. I say, "NO" and he laughs. It scares me how mischevious he already is...

I love that for Halloween he let us dress him up as a monkey, then a chicken, then a monkey again and he never cried or complained....well, I guess he kind of cried (but I blame that on the ear infection).

Everyday I try to thank my Heavenly Father for my precious boy and the miracle that he is in my life and after everything we have been through over this past year I am so thankful that I get to tell my little man Happy Birthday today.

Happy Birthday Brecken we love you!

I don't even know how to explain this...

So I am trying to find words for the experience I had this morning. I still can't even begin to describe what went through my head at the exact moment it happened..it was weird, because I do remember panic, embarressment and complete madness all occuring at one time.

Now, some of you will understand what I am going through, others may want to block me as a friend on facebook, and some of you will laugh hystarically.

Before I get "ahead"(no pun intended.you will understand in less then 30 seconds what this means) I need to explain what happened last night.

So, last night B and I attended the annual pumpkin carving party at the Barnwell abode. It is always so delightful and fun. John, however, didn't show up. Yes, he was hunting, and yes he finally killed an elk. Whatever, I am fine with that. So when he got home late last night he decided in his infamous wisdom that he would quarter the elk in our garage. Whatever, I am still fine with that. Then, came the realization that he needed to do something with the elk once he was finished. His plan: put it in the garbage can. I am not fine with this.

Hello! for those of you that have never been up close and personal to good ole' Wapati...well let me tell ya, they are big....our garbage on the other hand is NOT that big. John kept barkin' at me because I wasn't being that helpful so I huffed into the house and said as I slammed the door, "Fine you try to put a square peg in a round hole."

Ten minutes later. Tap, tap, tap on the front door. I opened. John replied, "I put it in the garbage can" (emphasis on snotty tone that came from his mouth). I believed him and then finally was able to go to bed at 2:30 in the AM.

NO. No. the story is not over. So, I left the house kind of late today and when I opened the garage door and walked outside this is what I saw.

BAHHHHHH! I almost died. I remember repeating something in a very loud voice that I am sure the neighbors heard. Obviously, John and I have to completely different perspectives on what it means to put the elk in the garbage can.

I called him right away, trying to remain calm and said, "There will be no negotiation. The elk that has taken up residency in our FRONT yard has to go." Further, I tried to explain that there was more than a handful of reasons on why this was soo wrong. First, our garbage pickup doesn't happen until Tuesday and that head will not be sticking out for 5 days. Secondly, Halloween in on Sunday and everyone and their dog will be coming up our driveway. Third, this is not what I had in mind for scaring the trick-or-treaters. The list could go on and on about the reasons on why this is not o.k.

note: John I love you, but the elk has to go. sorry.

For everyone else, please don't judge ;)

This is why I love this kid...

Yesterday, as I was getting Brecken undressed to give him a bath he decided to poop, while in my arms. Gross. Really gross. If it would have been any other kid I probably would have thrown up right there, but I didn't. I just looked at him and he smiled at me with this look that said, "That's right, I pooped and there is nothin' you can do 'bout it."

This video is why I don't give him away at times like that....

Organized? Yeah Right.

So, someone told me the other day that they couldn't believe how organized I was...Yeah. Well. Um. They haven't been to my house. Obviously.



Oh, and yes that is Brecken laying on the floor at two in the afternoon with no clothes on.

Funny story about no clothes. The other day Brecken peed thought another outfit. I am guessing it is time to go up a size in the diaper area. Anyway, so he peed through an outfit and I wasn't home. So I thought, "hey I have to stop at Target anyway so I will just run in and buy a new outfit." First off, I didn't think other mothers judged other mothers.

O.K. so maybe I did walk into Target towing my baby around in a diaper. But did it require them to stare at us, yes, it was a little cold, but did they want him to stay in the wet onesie instead?

So, after the gaukers kept on staring, I decided I would just put the new outfit on him in the store. Second problem. NOW, a new set of mothers were not only staring at my naked baby, but they watched me rip the tags off the clothes as I put them on my baby who was sitting in a shopping cart in the store. Really, did they think I was going to just now walk out of the store?

And finally, because I was so over being stared at I just walked up to the register, handed the tags to the cashier, who by all accounts was no more than 17, who said, "Where's the outfit?" ....sooooo, I now had to explain my story to another person, again.

By the time we got to the car...he needed a diaper change.

So, back to the point. No, I am not organized. Yes, I use to be before Brecken. No, my house is not always clean. I often don't shower everyday because I would rather sleep then get wet, which then requires another hour to get ready. The answer is to my "fake organization"....I am good at perception. As I assume most mothers are.

And by the way. My punk is chewing on our coffee table right now. This is what he looks like if you want a mental image.

{Family Pics}

A few weeks ago I decided it was time to take a family photo. I had to plead and even bribe John to do it, but I have the evidence that he cooperated. I also decided Brecken "needed" one-year photos as well. Yes, I know he is only 11 months, but in Montana you never know when it will snow. And, in my defense if this year is like last year we will have 80 degree weather one day and 20 the next. Yeah, I am not a fan.

Kelty ended up taking our pictures and she did such an amazing job. Brecken was cooperative for the most part. If he wouldn't have been in the hospital for so long, which meant a million shots, I would have updated him on his Tetnus. He licked and chewed on every vehicle at the car lot where the pictures were taken.

I thought getting John to take the pictures would be the most stressful part of the process, HOWEVER. Now let me emphasize the however...my pants became the issue. Now, a dirty little secret that people didn't tell me was once I stopped breast feeding all my weight would come back. Fast. I mean like 12 days fast. So, the beautiful pants that I bought while I was breast feeding needed a little help to fit on to my body. It included Spanx, laying on the floor sucking in my gut, sweat, and a brief glimpse of Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love.

Why is he so happy and why am I so miserable?

Really, I should have known this day would come. I always thought all my possessions would be fine, but they're not. I underestimated the skill and power of the 15 pounds that enable his body to move. Yes, it happened and I have had to watch the horror unfold.

In the last two weeks I have watched Brecken begin to kind of crawl, then crawl, then stand up, then get in the drawers in my bathroom, then tear every one of my magazines to shreds. Oh yes, did I mention he attempted to eat the magazines before he ended their lives. Yes my Real Simple magazine, of which I have waited patiently all month to read became a chew toy before I even cracked it open. My beautifully designed house, while not baby proof, has become a treasure chest of chew toys for little b. The books are missing covers, the pretty flower arrangements have miraculously begun to re-appear in his diapers, and the tv antennae...well it didn't survive.

And why is he so happy? Well, he has come to find out that cords are his best friends, curling irons can easily be ripped off the counter, tv's can be unplugged, and the vaccuum cleaner cord is great to get tangled in. He knows that he is now in control. That's right. My 3-toothed monster has found the new joy in crawling, grabbing, pulling, and screaming.



Along with "firsts"...he experienced his first Bobcat Football game. The chaos that occurs at the game is right up is alley. It is chaotic, loud, busy, messy and has a distinct smell. Oh right, I am talking about my house ;)


Did I mention that he now yells some form of "MAMA"....when he wants something. It is the beginning of the end folks.

It's Official!

On Friday morning Brecken woke up with a 102 fever. I had this internal battle with myself all day while trying to debate if I should or shouldn't take him to the doctor. I knew something was wrong with him when he laid around the house all day and didn't even make a peep. He is usually pretty vocal. He yells at me, the tv, the neighborhood cat, his food, just about anything that comes through his path gets yelled at. BUT he did nothing on Friday.

And even more alarming was the fact that he cuddled with me all day. Am I a bad mom because I was a tiny bit happy that my baby was sick because he finally cuddled with me?

Well, it didn't last long. When we got to the doctor's office Brecken became entranced with the butcher paper on the table and forgot all about me.



When the doctor came in, her name is Dr. Pepper. BAHAHAHAHAHA! She looked in his ears and said that he had an ear infection.

...that was my reaction as well.

So she gave him antibiotics, dosed him with motrin, and sent him home.

later that night he was back to his "tent" routine.

...and now I have the ear infection ;)

Sharp little thing....

We have made a break through...

No, we haven't found a shark with a striking resemblance to a human....

We have...



A TOOTH.

That little bugger is pretty sharp though.

What is so great about Dad?

So for some reason Brecken has decided that it is finally time to make a change in his little life. He is now sitting up, well kind of. If I sit him up he will stay there until he twitches, moves or breathes...then he falls over and I start the whole process over. He is also starting to talk. Drumroll...and the first words to come out of this little punk's mouth
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DADADADADADADADA. break. DADADADADADA. breath. DADADADA.



I just thought that maybe since I gained 40 pounds, have a scar the size of antartica on my stomach, and I wipe his butt that I would be entitled to have the first word.

WRONG.



Nope. John is soaking it all up.

I mean this is what the guy considers babysitting.



REALLY?!?!

Why are buckles necessary?

I promised myself that I would become better at blogging as Brecken became more independent. Yeah right. He can't even crawl yet, but somehow he still manages to scoot backwards, grab a hold of whatever he can and either naw it until it no longer functions or pull on it until it snaps in two.

Even though we haven't been blogging we are alive and well...sorta. Pictures are always great evidence for the "parentals" to show that we still have managed to keep Brecken alive, even though our attempts to keep household plants living has failed dramatically.


Today I learned why there are those crazy straps in the stroller that are "supposably" there to hold the baby in...

Lately, Brecken has been in a crabby mood. Crabby may be an understatement, so try to imagine a teenage girl, no sleep, "that-time-of-the month," and finding out that her sister ruined her favorite shirt that she was planning on wearing for freaking hot date. Yeah, that type of mood is what have seemed to have taken over Little B's life (in his defense he is teething). Anyway, back to the story.

Soooo, as any good parent would do I saddled him up with his favorite toy and loaded him in his stroller to go for a walk. Ladedada, I grabbed my keys from the car, flipped his stroller around and proceeded down the driveway. As I turned onto the sidewalk I hit a rock. Disclaimer: Not an unusual occurance to hit a large rock on the sidewalk in our subdivision. Not thinking much about it I tried to pop my stroller over the rock.

Then came the sound. The sound that every parent (I am assuming) hates. As I looked around the front of the stroller there was no rock. Nope just little B face down on the sidewalk. He had had slipped underneath the tray on his seat, and had fallen face first on the side and I with all my great wisdom had somehow run over my own child (not all the way) with HIS stroller.

He was crying, I was crying. Blood was coming out of his nose, tears were flying every which way. The worst part of the whole three second ordeal is that as I turned around to run to the house I realized that I had an audience.

Next door a group of guys were putting in a sprinkler system and had witnessed the whole event...hopefully not the running over part. Not a word came out of their mouths.

Silence. Silence. Sprinkler turning on. Silence. Dog bark. Silence.

I, with my screaming baby in tow did the the walk of shame back to my house.

When the tears stopped, and the blood dried his wounds turned out not to be that bad. My ego as a parent...well, lets just say I won't be testing out his acrobatic skills for awhile ;)

Here is evidence that he was perfectly healthy yesterday...




His battle scar...

Summa Time!

I wish I had a really good reason to explain my inadequancy in keeping up with the blog. I actually did it on purpose so you would all be chomping at the bit for my next post (wink, wink).

Now, everyone stop and breathe. Can you feel that? Yep, I think maybe summer has finally arrived in Bozeman. Who knows there may still be one more snow storm up Mother Nature's sleeve? However, in the meantime while we wait around for the next freakishly, outragous storm to blast us, bytheway did ya'll hear about the nice little tornado that hit Billings and tore the Metra to shreds and flooded Kambrie's apartment (OH SNAP!)...anyway, back to the my original thought, while we wait for the next big storm to hit us, Brecken and I have been busy.

We have been working, swimming, playing, walking, shopping, and garage selling. And Brecken has been developing lots of new and useful skills. He can now chew on his own feet, simutaneously cry and laugh, roll and get stuck, and my favorite...throw up on me in public, ALL the time.

What other adventures has Little B been up to?

He is finally big enough to go in a swing...if a blanket it bunched around his body.


Brecken is enjoying the finer things in life...like massages from Ephraim.


He is becoming more prepared day-by-day. In June it is not uncommon to have to wear a cozy bomber hat because of snow, rain, hail, or 30 degree weather.


He is now starting to like his Johnny Jumper. When he first sat in it he liked to swing rather than bounce. Yeah, he is weird.


He has been enjoying numerous outings with John.


Brecken is now getting old enough where he can sit by his cousin Arleigh without being mauled to death.


Little B went to the Splash Park for the first time. His one attempt at getting in the water resulted in a tears that led him to lay under an umbrella soaking up the sun for the rest of the day.


He has started to figure out how to play in his exer-saucer. Most of the time he just yells at the wall. It is a very one sided conversation ;)


Did I mention before how much he likes to swing?


Now, that the weather is finally bearable. It means eating outside, soaking up the sun, and Brecken babbling to the other customers (babbling often involves screaming. laughing. screaming. laughing. repeat).


Oh, and how could I forget. Summer means that all the Mortenson kids are home during the day. Often when I am trying to get my work done the girls will watch Brecken. This is what happens if they are left unattended...
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The boa is kinda cute...just sayin'!